Whether it’s your BFF or little sister, it seems like everyone is hearing wedding bells lately. While a lot of your friends are paired off and maybe even starting a family (eek), not everyone is on the same timeline.
Sure, your mom is probably nudging you to stop treating your pug like a human child, but you don’t need that negativity in your life. Contrary to what your family or friends half-jokingly say to you, it’s 100% okay to be single at 30.
If you haven’t found The One yet, it’s not because no one will ever want you, or because you have bad luck. In all likelihood, there's a reason. You probably fall into one (or more) of these 5 situations—and there’s no shame in that. And feel free to take our love language quiz here.
1. The best hasn’t happened yet
It’s corny and horrible and we’re sorry to say it, but maybe you haven’t found your person yet. In the past, you might have settled for so-so matches, but you’re more mature today.
You want more and deserve more, and that means waiting for someone you'd actually want to spend the rest of your life with. Not Brad, who schedules your dates after he's checked his workout schedule golfing dates with his buddies. But, no matter how long you wait, you’re worthy without a partner.
So hop onto a dating site or app and slowly, carefully fish for your match. (And read our dating photography guide!). When you meet them, you’ll know.
2. You’re working on you
Everybody’s got baggage, okay? You don’t want to take your junk into a new relationship right now, and that’s commendable.
The more you work on you, the happier you’ll be—with or without a partner.
“Working on me” sounds like “I’m committing to forever singlehood,” but that’s not the case at all. Actually, an improved sense of self draws better people to you. When you’re better, you get with better people.
Enjoy your 30s by creating the lifestyle and habits you want right now. That way, you’re happy and prepared when you bring someone special into your life.
3. You’re successful
Let’s be honest: it’s hard to meet people if you’re working 60-hour weeks. If you’re confident, strong, capable, and damn good at your job, it can reduce the number of fish in the sea.
And no, that’s not a bad thing. You’re scaring off the f-boys (and f-girls) that aren’t worth your time. Eh, maybe some people find you intimidating, but the right person will find you incredibly sexy.
Build your empire now. When you find The One, they’ll continue building on your success, not tearing it down.
4. You don’t have time for BS
Yeah, relationship drama was cute in your early 20s. But you’re 30 now, and it’s time for Friday night pajamas, DIY-at-home cocktails, and Netflix dramas, not relationship drama.
You’re a grown-ass adult now. At 30, your BS meter is maxed out. Fortunately, that means you can spot red flags and steer clear of anyone who isn’t worth your time.
Now you’re more concerned with the quality of your connections, not the quantity. Instead of wasting time on someone you just aren’t into, you’re saving your energy for the right one.
5. You’re busy living your best life
I mean, do you even need a partner?
Seriously. If your life is full without a love interest, you do you. It’s perfectly fine to focus on hobbies, pets, family, and your career.
You’re so much more than the person you’re with. Let your mom nag about settling down, but make decisions that are right for your life.
Be free! Go on an impromptu vacation, cut your hair, and adopt a puppy. Live your best life—if that doesn’t involve a partner, we’ve got your back 100%.
The bottom line:
It’s human to feel lonely if everyone you know is married and having kids. But you aren’t them. There are perfectly logical reasons to be single at 30. Wherever you are right now is where you were meant to be.
Focus on you, and the right one will come along. Create the life of your dreams and everything will fall into place.
Here’s to your thirties: the time for you.
Why Am I Single & 30 Quiz:
Contrary to what your family or friends half-jokingly say to you, it’s 100% okay to be single at 30. If you haven’t found The One yet, it’s not because you’re lame or have bad luck. In all likelihood, you fall into one (or more) of these 3 situations—and there’s no shame in that.
Take this quick quiz to understand why you might still be single at 30:
1. You go on a first date at a restaurant and things are going well. But, uh oh, the check is coming. What do you do?
a. We play the back-and-forth game, but it’s obvious my date doesn’t want to foot the bill. I pay for it.
b. I always insist on paying. I’m a grown-ass adult and don’t mind footing the bill.
c. Eh, it’s not a big deal. I don’t go on many dates, so I always volunteer to pay.
2. Your mom is bugging you (again) about getting married and having babies. What do you tell her?
a. “I just haven’t found the right person.”
b. “I’m really busy at work and don’t have time to do that stuff.”
c. “I’m 100% okay with being single at 30. Back off, Mom!”
3. Why do you think your past relationships fell through?
a. It just wasn’t with the right person.
b. My aspirations were too much for them.
c. I was too independent.
4. What are you doing this weekend?
a. I’m going on a date or swiping through a dating site.
b. I’m probably working, but I love what I do!
c. No Netflix and chill for me. Just a cozy night at home alone with my dog (or cat).
5. What’s the number-one quality you look for in a partner?
a. Trust
b. Ambition
c. Independence
Single & 30 Quiz Answers:
Here's a quick summary of what your answers might mean for why you're single at 30, (but by no means represents official advice):
Mostly a's: The best hasn’t happened yet
You’re looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right, but it’s tough out there. From dating apps to random fixups with your coworker’s brother, it’s not easy finding The One. (Have you tried TikTok as a dating app yet?). You’re single at 30 because you just haven’t found the right person yet. That has everything to do with timing and nothing to do with you. It sucks, but keep putting yourself out there. The One is right around the corner - we hope!
Mostly b's: You’re successful (and it’s intimidating)
Yes, this sounds cliche, but it’s true. You’re still single because you’re successful, confident, and maybe a touch intimidating. That’s not a bad thing at all, actually. You might go on fewer dates, but you’re attracting higher-quality people into your life. Statistically, it’s going to take longer to find The One, but when you find them, sparks will fly. Your patience will pay off because the right person will celebrate your success instead of tearing it down.
Mostly c's: You’re busy living your best life
Uhh, who cares if you’re single? Not you, and you shouldn’t! Life is about a lot more than who you’re with. Hobbies, pets, travel, family, and career are meaningful, too. You’re probably single because you’re okay with it. If you happen to find someone, great, but if not, it’s not eating you up inside. Go you!
